life right now

right now im laying in bed, listening to etta coo happily as she drifts off to sleep for the night.  its a moment that i want a soundtrack of.  but not just a soundtrack, a feel-track you know?  so i can play it back and feel all the feels that i feel in this moment.  older daughter talking to herself in her bedroom across the way, and baby literally cooing herself to sleep. save it. play it back.  live off that stuff.  

so people keep asking how its going with two.  and there are moments where its ridiculous. like when they both need something at the same time and i have to chose between them and triage their needs and decide which is most urgent.  and like the moments when they are both crying at the same time in public.  or when baby has a fever and wont stop crying and toddler cannot empathize to save her life and still wants all of my attention. 

and in those moments, i am like 'what the heeeeeeck!'
but honestly, most of the time, its just awesome.  and i know that is not everyone's experience, and i also know that it will not likely be my experience in every phase of this gig.  for example, when etta mae does something other than lay in her rock n play contentedly for most of the day (and learns to crawl and move) it might not be as awesome and delightful as it is now. but for right now, i am really really enjoying it.  
and again, thats not allllll the time, but it is the norm.  

dont get me wrong, i am brain dead by the end of the day.  like a monitor going beeeeeeeeep and my thoughts going totally off line kinda thing.  all i do all day is follow eden around, etta mae in tow, and try to keep up with the books, puzzles, and poofy dresses that she seems to go through on a daily basis.  oh and keep the house somewhat clean and the laundry somewhat done and make sure we all four eat all three meals.  i love that im doing this, instead of working all day away from my babies, but for real folks.  its for real. 
on another note, eden's THIRD birthday is just around the bend and im throwing her a surprise poppins party.  homegirl is downright obsessed with mary poppins and would watch the movie in its entirety daily if i allowed her to.  she throws m.p. quotes into real life situations in very appropriate moments, she sings the songs all day, she marches around yelling 'votes for women'...its adorable.  so im having a poppins party, and mary and bert are coming to sing and take pictures with the kids. and she is going to pee her pants. which is usually a problem for me, but i will totally go with the flow (literally).

she only knows she is having a party. and when i ask her about it, this is how it goes:

m:  eden, what do you want for your birthday?
e: for all my friends to come over (all f's prounounced as p's)
m: but what THING do you want for your birthday?
e: (wide eyed) PINK

ill leave you with this.  eden in a flower girl dress and eyepatch.  but dont be fooled, she is not a pirate.  she is godfather drosselmeyer from the nutcracker.  of course.