Tuesday, March 31, 2015

paper faces on parade

so im thirty now, thirty years and a week or so.  its feeling pretty good.  i am resolved to cherish and reflect and be really mindful of the blessings in my life this year.  i dont have time to waist.  i have a husband, a baby, and a growing business and im ready to take on this year with gusto.

a few weekends ago my incredible friends helped me plan and throw the 30th bash of my dreams.  a fancy shmancy masquerade complete with a gold-dusted cake, cutting a rug, and a rented designer gown.  it was a really special experience to be surrounded by people that i love, all dressed up and decked out, eating, dancing and drinking and celebrating with me.  christine took many of these photos and, as always, captured the ambiance of the moment.  

marla made an awesome photo booth area, and everyone grabbed their moment with props and masks and fashionable poses.  this post will just be the photo booth shots and ill post part two after you have had a moment to take in all of these.  

i rented a dress from renttherunway.com and i could not have been more thrilled with it. 
megan was my hero with this incredible un-dead beauty queen thing she had going on. look at that face, then imagine it attack-dancing you on the dance floor.  true story.   
everyone looked incredible but i have to comment on my housie, martha, the gorgeous blonde below.  she really committed to her crazy hair and wore bantu knots in her hair the whole day to get her hair to curl like that.  then she had a mask painted on to her face.  talk about your A game.  she was the ring leader of the whole affair and made it happen.  thank you forever martha.  
marla, with the candlestick below, worked all morning with me painting balloons, creating the photo booth, spray painting foliage.  what an incredible friend she is.  
 my siblings both traveled from out of state for the weekend which was incredibly special. 
being friends as adults is the absolute best 
 robert was an incredible date and made me feel like the bell of the ball all evening.

i follow with a post including dancing videos and more photos


   

Friday, March 13, 2015

I Asked the Lord that I Might Grow

I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;

Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.


Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way,

As almost drove me to despair.

-John Newton 

more faith.  more love.  more grace. more patience.  more wisdom.  more self-control.  all of these requests have rumbled around inside my heart and mind over the last days, weeks, years. and these, unlike many other requests i have made, i am confident honor the lord.  he delights when we ask for more faith, more patience, more self control. when we ask to know and understand more of his salvation of us, his sacrifice for us, it must bring him joy.  and i ask for these things, because they are the desire of my heart.  they are not the desire of the part of my heart that is still prone toward sin, that still is acquainted with folly and selfish indulgence.  but they are the desire of the part of my heart that is inclined toward God because he so inclined it.  and how i desire these things so very greatly.

but, and maybe i am alone in this, i often pray for these things as if i expect that God will super-impose them into my heart on demand.  more faith? 'boom'.  more love?  'bam'. more wisdom?  'voila'  more patience for your toddler?  'why of course, here you go'.  more humility toward your husband? 'and would you like fries with that?'

I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.


Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.


and i am sure that sometimes he does work like that, just granting us more of fruits of his spirit. however, i am noticing more and more, that when i ask for these things, and when God's answer is yes, as it always is to those things which please him, it usually means that he is going to bring about circumstances that grow them in me.  how does fruit end up on a tree?  has anyone ever noticed?  because i, in my very little knowledge of trees, have observed that it must grow.  it must start off small, it must go through a process, it must overcome obstacles. it must grow.  i have never seen fruit appear on a tree.  (again, obviously he can and does grant us these things when he deems that it should be so).

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.


Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith."


you want more faith.  i grant that you will struggle and circumstances will not be what you had expected.  and i will grow faith in you

you want more love.  i grant that your heart will expand in ways, though sometimes painful, that i will use to grow love in you.

you desire more grace.  i will show you how my grace is sufficient by removing everything else that you think is.  this will be very difficult.  and i will grow grace in you.

you ask for more patience.  i will allow your toddler, your students, your life, your family, to stretch you so very far until you are at your wit's end, and by those means, i will grow my patience in you.

you seek to have more wisdom.  i will bring about situations which bring you to your knees because you are at the end of yourself and your ability to reason.  and then i will grow more wisdom in you.

more self-control.  i will show you how very little you control yourself.  i will make you acquainted with the most evil portions of your heart and allow that knowledge to undo you. and by this, i will grow self-control in you.

you want to know more of salvation.  you want to know more of what i have wrought by my life, death and resurrection.  i will allow you to come face to face with yourself at your most rotten core so that you may see that from which i have rescued you.  so that you may truly glory in your redeemer with freedom.


"These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me."


grant oh lord that i should grow, and truly grow, by whatever means you deem right and holy and appropriate.  that i may find my all in thee.

amen.
   

Thursday, March 12, 2015

please remember not to forget (part 5)

moments go by so quickly, at a pace that leaves me winded at the end of the week if i have not had a chance to stop and reflect.  im resolved to do just that, and this is issue five of my notes on what to remember.

we had many snow days this winter and one of them afforded us the opportunity to stay in bed extra long in the morning and let eden sleep on us.  it reminded me of when she was so so little and she would sleep through anything.  we were so delighted for these few moments with her.  it felt a little like we were playing a trick on time and the forces that are making her grow so much faster than seems possible.  
she loves to have a napkin and wipe her mouth and hands repeatedly during her meal.  she pats it around her lips like a little lady and then smiles at me contentedly.  

she say ' peese outside' for the window to be rolled down when we are driving in the car

she whispers when we go up stairs because in her world, her baby is always asleep up there.

she requests shake it off  'ek a off' every.single.time we are in the car together.  oh sometimes she changes it up and also requests let it go 'eh e go'.  i am sure there are other songs in the world, i just dont remember any of them.  

she tells godrick to 'go go go' when he is trying to eat her food

she loves to somersault and jump and dance
she loves to put on her coat

she loves to pick up anything and everything and say her version of 'and whats this?', which i cant even attempt to spell phonetically.

she is also obsessed with throwing things away.  she will find a piece of fluff on the floor, pick it up, and start repeating 'gaba' (garbage) until i give her the go ahead to throw it away.

she quacks when she sees a photo or image of a duck, she loves the wooden animals in her puzzle and she carries the goat in her hand mumbling 'goap, goap, goap'

she calls evelyn 'eya' and simone 'moaaaan'
when she is trying to accomplish a task and then is successful, she exclaims 'i dod it' ( i got it)

she is really able to listen to and follow detailed instructions, although she is not always willing to listen and follow detailed instructions.  two very different things, let me tell you

she loves carrying bags in the crook of her arm with necklaces or socks in them

she loves socks.  she loves to find them and then put them on her hands.  weirdo.

she loves my hair, she loves brushing it and calling it 'hay'
none of these things in and of itself make up who she is, but all together they are a record of how she is growing and learning and changing my world.  

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