Monday, July 25, 2016

topsail pictures part 1

a few weeks ago my family peaced out from normal life and hit the beach for a week.  let me tell you, topsail island is everything.  i mean every little thing.  it is morning tide pools for littles to swim in, its perfect waves for jumping in that are not but so deep, its big wide open beaches for kite flying, its ice cream shops that you visit thrice in a week.  its afternoon storms that are best observed on the porch with a drink in hand, its seafood and surfers and all things beach.  

and here some are my favorite photos...
 the night we arrived, we took the girls down to the shore just to show them the water.  but they were overcome with the intoxicating beach fever and before we knew it they were stripped down and diving in.  it was so enjoyable to watch them interact in such a way with the glory of an evening tide.  it was a great way to start off the week.
 isnt my dad such a handsome man? 
we had a golf cart that we rode to and from the beach each day, which was clutch with four kids and all the gear that goes along with them
 this was pretty much our daily set up, courtesy of dad's efforts 
 big sister night was fantastic.  
we wanted to reward the little girls for all their big sister efforts and the evening was full of matching outfits and ice cream and foot soaks and kites and free of all little sibs. 
more photos to come in a second post

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Topsail 2016 Video

I will be sharing more photos and stories and photos from the trip later, but for now, 
here are the video highlights!

Topsail from laura agaba on Vimeo.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

The 'awesomeness' of beach week two months postpartum

i had a baby two months ago.  ten weeks actually, so like 2.5.  and ill just say it, i don't love my postpartum body.  but you know what?  i am realizing that i don't hate it either.  let me process this here.  

when i first realized that i would be going through this flabby, fat, cellulite phase during the the entire season of summer, i was feeling some serious dread.  who wants to have their body at its very LEAST appealing during swimsuit season?  Let me tell you:  NO ONE.  not a single person.  and knowing that i would be spending alot of the time this summer in a swim suit (or rather trying to get into a swim suit with all of at the pool weekly with friends and at the beach with my family, made me realize that i was going to be constantly confronted with with truth:  my body is not my own.  and im not talking spiritually, cause we know that.  im talking physically.  my body has sacrificed itself for my children.  and not just once, mind you, but every day.  my body has, twice now, grown from a fairly normal and reasonable size to the size its needs to be to grow and care for a human being.  and then it has attempted to return to what it once was while still feeding children, and caring for children, night and day.

when day one of pool season arrived, i expected to hate it.  i expected to feel so self conscious.  i had my two (bigger than normal) bathing suits i had begrudgingly bought for the season, and i just set my face to the task, knowing that it would be terrible.  but you know what?  it wasn't.

i looked around that first pool day and realized that not a single of my friends was looking at me and determining my value based on the way i looked in my suit.  i realized that not a single one of them was less excited to have me and my kids present due to the fact that i was wearing a size larger in suit than i usually would.  no one seemed to talk to me less because i had extra cellulite on my thighs.  everyone thinks im funny still, even with some extra fat on my back and stomach.  

and you know who really didnt care one bit? eden. all she has cared about, all summer long, is that i was there to hold her and splash her and tell her she is safe with me even in the scary parts where her feet cant reach.  she does not give a hoot about the size of my thighs.  
so i just decided that i was not going to let my first summer with etta mae, and my first summer with eden as a real swimmer, be ruined or even slightly tainted by my self loathing or self consciousness or by any negative thoughts.  this is my body.  its bigger than usual. its flabbier than usual.  but its also more amazing than it ever has been because it has produced not one but TWO children.  and i would not trade a day with either of them for smaller thighs or less flab on my back.  and i would not want them to ever remember a vacation or day at the pool or a day at all where i was too busy worrying about how i look to think about how amazing it is to be alive, with them, in the beautiful sunshine. 

so peace out self loathing.  this is me, and im at the beach with my babes.  and im too busy loving it to spend time worrying about how i look while im loving it. 



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