trapped inside my brain

this post has no sense of cohesiveness except that these are the random musings of my mind these days and i dont want to forget them, so i write themdown.

-january is unfriendly and brings with it an onslaught of cold and colds and runny noses and icy cold limbs and unhappy babies.  thank God we have had a fair share of sunny days which at least serve to warm the spirit when the body is numb.  but i tell you the days that we have had that are both cold and dreary leave me in a funk i can't shake.  there is nothing short of crawling in bed with socks on and a warm drink that can take the edge off.  all the better if the warm drink has a bit of...extra warm in it.  i know you have to happen january, but do you have to be so mean about it? that is no way to make friends.

-eden is growing up before my eyes.  as i mentioned here, i had nearly an entire week with her due to the weather and her sickness and it was like she morphed into this whole other person.  she went from being able to keep food somewhat in her mouth to going for the spoon wide-mouthed and excited.  she went from being able to sit up for a few seconds before her head and gravity got the best of her to being able to sit for a few minutes all by herself.  she babbles non stop and i swear that before i know it her meaningless mumbles will turn into words.  who the heck pushed the fast forward button on this babe?  

-being a working mom is really really hard.  am i right?  i was up this morning taking care of the babe when i got a group text from a working mom friend (a life long friend) about how her 5.5 month old was finally sleeping through the night and now her toddler had a nightmare and she was awake at 3 am.  another friend (another life long friend) responded about her toddler.  we were all three in our different cities, states, time zones experiencing the same thing:  its a really hard thing to be a working mom.  you are at work all day trying to balance work and pumping or thinking about your kid, then you get home and take care of your kid, then you do all the necessary things to make sure you can take care of them the next day while also figuring out food for the grown ups and also remembering to breathe.  im just saying, if you know a working mom, give her a pat on the back.  she deserves it.  

-and you know what, its really hard to be a stay at home mom too!  I got a taste of that this week, trapped in our 3 foot by 3 foot apartment all week hiding from the cold and held captive by her cold.  it was exhausting and unrelenting and there were no grown ups to make it any better.  so if you know a mom who stays home with her kids, give her a pat on the back. she deserves it too.  

-its been five months since i had the babe and i am still getting bills!  and you know what?  the hospital charged me a labor and delivery fee and then an additional fee for each 15 minutes of labor.  so since i wanted to deliver naturally instead of with a drug that might speed up labor (no judgement) i have to pay extra for each 15 minutes that i am in labor (in addition to the fact that i actually had to BE  in labor)?  this is not the fee to the provider (i think it makes sense for the midwife to get paid extra for each 15 min she is helping me) but the stinking hospital has to charge me extra for each 15 minutes ON TOP of my l&d fee?  what the what?  

no conclusion, that was all just on my brain. and now its on yours

you are welcome