So, per my blog post a long a
while ago, I am committed to using this space to talk about substantial things
and not just to write about what I think people want to hear, or what will
amuse those reading. In most cases, this
blog ends up being a place for me to share my own sin, so that I can’t stay
quiet about it and allow it to have a stronghold in my life.
When my soul is heavy laden with the weight
sin.
Now, I have not written for a while. That is not because I have had
nothing substantial to write about, but rather because I have not felt
particularly convicted to write about any of it on this blog.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday, the worst part of my sinful and selfish-self reared its ugly head, and so, for
the sake of my soul, it is necessary for me to share with you this blaring
truth and what has happened in my heart because I forgot it…
Your spouse cannot, and will not, meet all of your
expectations. Now hear me, I say this
NOT to speak badly of my own husband.
Because it really has nothing to do with him. There is no one alive on this earth today
that can meet all of your expectations.
Not your spouse, not your family…no one.
And so what I am talking about is what happens in our hearts when our
expectations are NOT met.
What should happen is
that our hearts are so secure in who God is, how sovereign He is, who He made us to be as His
children, and how satisfying fellowship with the Father is, that we are able to
take all things in stride, and trust that God will bridge the gaps that need to
be bridged, and help us let go of expectations that are unreasonable.
Instead, what has happened in my heart, is that I am so wrapped up
in what I want from marriage, what I expect, what I deserve (or think I deserve) that when my expectations re not
met, bitterness abounds.
So, currently God is encouraging me to share my sin, generally on
the blog and quite specifically to my close friends, and purposefully pray that
God will do what only He can…
Change my heart
And I encourage you, regardless of your marital status, to remind
your heart and soul that you were created to be satisfied in Christ alone, and
not in anyone else. And God is gracious
to us in reminding us that no one can meet all our needs, so that we can remember
that only He can fully satisfy us.
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