For the Sake of My Soul

So, per my blog post a long a while ago, I am committed to using this space to talk about substantial things and not just to write about what I think people want to hear, or what will amuse those reading.  In most cases, this blog ends up being a place for me to share my own sin, so that I can’t stay quiet about it and allow it to have a stronghold in my life.  

When my soul is heavy laden with the weight sin.

Now, I have not written for a while.  That is not because I have had nothing substantial to write about, but rather because I have not felt particularly convicted to write about any of it on this blog.

Until yesterday.  

Yesterday, the worst part of my sinful and selfish-self reared its ugly head, and so, for the sake of my soul, it is necessary for me to share with you this blaring truth and what has happened in my heart because I forgot it… 

Your spouse cannot, and will not, meet all of your expectations.  Now hear me, I say this NOT to speak badly of my own husband.  Because it really has nothing to do with him.  There is no one alive on this earth today that can meet all of your expectations.  Not your spouse, not your family…no one.  And so what I am talking about is what happens in our hearts when our expectations are NOT met.

What should happen is that our hearts are so secure in who God is, how sovereign He is, who He made us to be as His children, and how satisfying fellowship with the Father is, that we are able to take all things in stride, and trust that God will bridge the gaps that need to be bridged, and help us let go of expectations that are unreasonable.

Instead, what has happened in my heart, is that I am so wrapped up in what I want from marriage, what I expect, what I deserve (or think I deserve) that when my expectations re not met, bitterness abounds. 

So, currently God is encouraging me to share my sin, generally on the blog and quite specifically to my close friends, and purposefully pray that God will do what only He can…

Change my heart

And I encourage you, regardless of your marital status, to remind your heart and soul that you were created to be satisfied in Christ alone, and not in anyone else.  And God is gracious to us in reminding us that no one can meet all our needs, so that we can remember that only He can fully satisfy us.