About-face

I met up with a friend last night, a dear sweet wonderful HONEST friend, and we had coffee and spent hours talking about sin and humanity and all things very serious. After we had been talking for a while, she gently let me know that she thinks my blog has been going down hill.  

And its true. It has.  

Why has my blog been going down hill?  Why have I dropped the ball with my writing?  Why have I stopped doing something that I LOVE?  Its fairly complex, but fairly simple as well...

Its because I am a sinner.

Now let me explain.  I am not saying that its a sin to neglect my blog or not write as often as I used to about the topics I used to.  What I AM saying is that the reasons behind the topical shift in my blog are rooted in sin.  

You see, I love to write.  And I love to write about really real things, like my sin and how ugly it is, and God's grace and how good it is.  When I wrote my blog from Rwanda, I wrote about things that tore me apart or really made me angry.  I wrote about the things that God was doing in my heart.  It was an outlet for me to deal with things in my head and my heart.  And I loved it.

Even when I started this blog, I used to enjoy laying myself bare and being authentic and honest about my life.  But then something happened...A something that I think is behind SO much sin...

Envy and Conformity.  

I started reading other people's blogs and believing the lie that I had to be like them.  I needed to write about similar things...I needed to use similar styles...I needed to write about trendy, interesting, 

creative things...I needed captivating and cool titles...I needed to conform to what other people would want to read...

I believed that I needed to throw away what God had given me, and try to use what He gave to someone else.

And it is wrong.

And it is a sin.

And it won't happen here anymore. 

Thank you to my friend, you know who you are.

So, for better or worse, this blog is hereby rededicated to writing about real things, substantial things, that have eternal value and are on MY heart...not someone else's.  Not to say that there will be nothing lighthearted BUT I am committed to being authentic and true to who God made me to be.

And hopefully, you will keep reading.