Etta Mae is SIX

i have not been here in a while, i almost never write here anymore.  but i have a whole collection of birthday posts for each girl, and i want to continue that faithfully even if thats all i use this space for.  especially with number four coming in the fall (which i also need to post about here) I am dedicated to documenting and remembering. 

so today is etta mae's sixth birthday and i dont want to let that go by without taking time to write down a few things. etta is my little middle, she is my mild but wild child with a brightness in her eyes and a depth to her soul. she seems calm on the surface but she is as complex as can be under the surface.

i remember the day she as born so clearly.  she was five days late and i had been longing to meet her.  i didnt yet know how a mother's heart could expand to love a second child.  i did not yet know that robert and i could make a child so extremely different than our first. i didnt know what a balm she would be to my soul.  there was so much i didnt know six years ago today.

but what i know now is that etta mae has taught me so much about how to love.  she is not easily defined or understood.  she is deep and requires effort to get to know.  she won't always tell me what she is thinking, so i have to make room for her and welcome her in so that she knows that im ready whenever she is.  she has taught me to make space and to listen with intention. 

she is really aware and tuned in to how i am feeling and she offers her affection and comfort so generously.  she can be sulky at times, but she doesn't want to stay there and wants to be drawn out of her moodiness.  

i want her to know that i love her, no matter how she is feeling.  if she is confused about her mood or unsure about how to respond, its ok.  or if she needs more space than her older and younger sisters, thats ok too.  

i want her to know that i love her, however she is.  Lord knows, i do.