Ivy Ann Irema is ONE year old

today my last baby is one year old.  she has long stopped acting like a baby in many regards.  she walks full time (and can even run a bit when robert chases her), has a very strong and vibrant personality, has four teeth, and wears size 2T in many of her clothes.  oh and she weighs more than 23lbs.  we've made a family pact to stop calling her thighvy before she is 18 months.  so at least we get to enjoy that for a while longer.

shes been sharing a room with her sisters for about two months now, and its going so well.  except she always wakes up about an hour before them.  but she is learning to stay content in her bed until i come get her.  sometimes it goes more smoothly than others.  but its really really sweet to see them all in there sleeping together.  

and speaking of her sisters, she adores them.  she talks to them and plays with them and loves it when they get up in her face and act silly for her.  i think she thinks they exist just to amuse her.  the sweetest moments of any day are the ones where i hear their laughter echoing together in unison.  there literally is nothing that i would rather hear.  

she can say mama but she does not really.  she can say dada, and she calls him by that all the time.  she signs more, all done, and please, but all in kinyarwanda.  she knows more at this age than either of the other girls.  i speak to her mostly in kinyarwanda, and she can truly understand and obey.  she still nurses in the morning and at night, but each day i brace myself for the end as she is less and less interested and more and more easily distracted.  most days i nurse her on the front porch swing while listening to my daily Bible reading, while the rest of the house is still quiet.  i will miss those times acutely.  

she can climb the stairs and loves the hammock.  robert is her favorite human and she plays with him in a way that she does not with the rest of us.  its sweet because he was initially taken aback by the idea of a surprise third kid, but he has the sweetest bond with her, and he is her preference most of the time.  someone knew we had room in our hearts for her.  

honestly i feel a deep sense of sorrow that my last baby is one.  i know that every season of life is beautiful, i do.  and i see it in my older girls every day.  i love how they grow and change and i love watching it and documenting it.  and i revel in it.  but there is also a part of me that can't stand to see it go by, can't stand knowing its gone.  i feel like im in mourning knowing that the unique version of themselves that they are today, is gone, and they are forever going to be getting older and growing out from me.  and i just have to acknowledge here that there is a sadness as i write.  its in the pit of my chest.  and there is nothing to be done to cure it, because something i love, the season of having a little baby, is irrevocably gone.  

at the end of each girl's first year i make a video that begins when i am in labor and ends the week they turn one.  so, without fail, i did the same for her.  it feels like a big accomplishment to have been able to complete one for each girl and i have to say im proud. 
happy birthday ivy ann, your first year was one a fantastic ride and we love you to the moon and back.