keeping my head down

since we found out about our third kid, i have been keeping my head down, quite literally, in the toilet.  this time around i got diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarium.  fancy words that mean a severe vomiting disorder related to pregnancy.  now many of you know that i was sick all throughout my pregnancies with eden and etta mae.  and it was bad no doubt.  but this third pregnancy is on a whole other playing field.  the first two weeks of this year i lost 10 lbs and kept hardly any food down.  i will spare you most of the details but its days of not keeping food down, throwing up between 10-20 times a day and feeling utterly depleted of all strength and energy for weeks on end.  at this point i pretty much avoid food entirely and focus on drinking as many nutrients as i can.  ive had to go in for IV fluids due to dehydration, so staying hydrated is a huge priority.  
to be perfectly honest its been very discouraging and overwhelming.  its one thing to sacrifice your body for a person you know and love, but its different when you have never seen that person, or met them, and wont for SO MANY MORE MONTHS.  and when that sacrificing for a new baby means sacrificing time and energy with my other children, it can be so overwhelming.  i have been so dependent on the Lord to sustain me daily; physically, mentally and spiritually.

thankfully i am surrounded by a wealth of incredible friends who have taken Eden to participate in activities and frolic out of doors, brought me broth, and cooked my family meals.  on several occasions friends have brought dinner, as well as breakfast for the next morning, books for the girls, and other supplies.  its so incredible to see how generous and thoughtful my friends here are.  im so blessed by our community.  each of you has encouraged me deeply with your thoughtfulness and generosity.  i have not felt alone in this at all, which has contributed to me staying sane. one friend even brought me a 'i hope you dont throw this up' gift basket full of items she thought might stay down. my mother also came for the better part of a week and sprinkled magic mother fairy dust on everything.  she cleaned and organized my disaster of a home, she shopped and cooked, she spent precious time with my girls. i told her she was hired.  she decided not to stay on permanently.   

and robert has been wearing alllll the hats.  he comes home and takes over immediately so i can lay down (and sometimes i am down for the night at that point).  he never tires of running out and picking me up things that sound good like smoothies.  he offers to do things to help me and he doesn't grow impatient or unkind with me even when i am literally a waste of space.  im really enjoying watching him do things in his own way, and care for the kids and the home with his own touch.

we are all hopeful that the severity of the hyperemesis will fade when the first trimester ends.  i appreciate prayers for all of us as we figure out how to keep our heads up.