soooo yes, we are expecting another baby. bringing the team total to 5. a great number for a basketball team. an overwhelming number for a little family that is now getting bigger. especially because we had not planned on having this little one. it was strange this time around. the other three times i have tested positive (including my first baby that i lost) i have been immediately exuberant, thrilled that something we had hoped for and dreamed of was happening. it was all happening according to my plan. our plans. and each time i couldn't wait to tell robert and see his response and his joy. (all photos by christine)
but this time was really different, since i was unsure of how robert would respond. we had really been talking about if another child was in our future, and very unsure about our collective opinion. so this was a scary surprise. something i thought might pit us against each other. i didnt want to dread telling my husband. i didnt want the word 'dread' to have anything to do with a positive pregnancy test. but it did. i was worried. and i waited several days to work up the courage to share the news with him. underneath it all i knew the baby was a good and perfect gift. i knew God was in perfect control and that undergirded me in a very tangible way. and despite my fear i knew that robert would love and cherish our new baby, even if it took him a while to get excited about the pregnancy.
when i did tell robert, his response was not nearly what i had imagined. he laughed and commented that he was relieved that God had taken the decision about a third child out of our hands and just chosen for us. we wrapped a small baby toy for the girls to open on christmas day and told them. they were both really excited and ever since, etta has been convinced that the baby is in eden's belly.
so in summation; we were not expecting this baby. it was not according to our plans, or our timing or our wisdom. but the perfect giver of gifts, who has all knowledge and all power, knew that this baby was a part of our family. so we are anticipating the fall and the arrival of the fifth member of our family!
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