here we toward the end of february and the arrival of this little one is only two months out. i am feeling oh so very pregnant, way more than i did at this point in my first pregnancy. everything aches and i often feel that if i dont hold my belly up, everything inside me will fall out all at once. i am hoping this means i will have a quick labor without any hold ups. except she is not head down yet, which is starting to nag at this control-freak mama's heart. what lesson do i learn over and over again in motherhood, and in pregnancy, if not that i have to daily give up any idea that i have control, and trust that God does. good grief will i ever learn? is there any hope for me?
i will say its funny how little i feel the need to go to my checkups this time around. literally all i do is go in, get the heart monitored, get measured, and leave. i dont really have any questions. not because i know it all, but because i know enough to know that no amount of question asking is going to fully prepare me for this life change. and since all things seem normal with the pregnancy, i just get in and out so quickly. i take 2 hours off of work to see the doctor for literally five minutes. so im kinda over that. my midwives are at my fingertips via e mail anyway, so if i have any real concerns, i just send them a message in about 22 seconds. i just don't have time people.
we got eden moved into her big girl bed which means we have a free crib ready for this second lady. (that is about all we have ready for her since we will be moving before she moves into the nursery with eden. i am no where near prepared. i dont even know what she will sleep in when she comes home. note to self, figure that out). i must say my mama's heart is just warmed by the way eden is anticipating her sister. frequently, while playing independently, she will stop what she is doing and exclaim 'oh no mama, baby is crying!'. and ill ask her what we should do about it. she will immediately run over to my belly and pat it and kiss it and say 'its ok baby sister'. i can't imagine anything sweeter. she prays for her and asks me about her often. i just hope this translates into a really sweet adjustment when baby is born. i am aware that it could be a rough ride.
and as a side note, my leg cramping that i experienced with eden is back with a vengeance. recently i had one that was so bad i dissolved into a puddle of tears. it felt like someone stuck a knife in at my inner knee, yanked it up my inner thigh, across my pelvis and into my outer hip. let me tell you, it was miserable. poor robert wakes up and does whatever he can to try to bring relief but it can take as long as 15 or 20 minutes for me to be able to get back in bed.
all the bathroom selfies to document the bump.
just about two months until little lady arrives.
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