baby 2, month 3

three months in and i am still pretty sick all day every day.  i did manage a whole day without throwing up recently, and it did alot to lift my spirits. and i like to think that i will be coming out of this soon.  i find more foods appetizing now which is wonderful, and i have been able to keep dinners down several evenings in a row.  i have gained back most of the weight i lost, which is good.  im hoping that just maybe ill be out of the worst of it soon.  

aside from the physical stuff i just can't help but wonder who this little person is, and how they are going to fit in with our family.  i know our family so well now. i know how the three of us interact, i know how robert and i tag team to care for eden's daily needs.  i know when he needs a break, he knows when i do and we know when we BOTH do.  we have a really good rhythm going and its just so strange to think that, in 6 months, an entirely new and unique member of our little team is going to be put into the game.  who will he or she be? and how will we change as a unit and as individuals once the new agaba arrives?

then of course i remember when it was just robert and me.  we had a routine, we knew what to expect, we had kinda figured out life as two.  and then i got pregnant with eden and had no idea how we would shift everything to make room for her.  and now that normal is SO normal and i can't imagine figuring out a new normal again.  

but i know, not too long from now, i will look at my baby, my daughter, and my husband and think, 'of course.  this makes perfect sense". 

recently eden said 'mommy, bring baby that over here', so i walked over to her while she was in her chair eating breakfast.  she reached up and put both hands on my belly and started talking the sweetest little words to the baby.  she finished with 'ok baby, we take nap tooogetha'.  

oh the mama joy that swelled up in my heart so big.