today eden turns two years old.
its a little hard to get my mind around. as i am sitting back, acknowledging that an entire year has gone by since the last one, im really savoring this reality slowly.
looking back it has been the most exhausting, rewarding, delightful two years of my life. this last year in particular has been an ongoing cycle of her learning something new, me marveling at her ability to learn and adapt and create, and then her doing yet another thing that leaves me staggered. and its not that she is exceptionally bright or advanced, but rather that i am experiencing, for the first time and right up close, what it is like to watch one of these miraculous humans grow and learn and become who they are going to be.
eden talks so much and says the most endearing things about how she misses me or wants to hold me or how she will see me later. she always wants to see everything and has now started proclaiming 'i yike it' if something brings her amusement or pleasure. she has her ears newly pierced and she loves to point out my pretty earrings, her pretty earrings, and the fact that they are 'same'. she chatters on about big trucks and doggies and seems content to tell me everything that goes through her mind, and then repeat it multiple times until something new catches her attention. she asks 'mommy you ok?' any time i get hurt and kisses all my boo boos. she can count to ten, but loves saying 'eight, nine, ten' the best, she knows blue, green, yellow, and red, and she likes to attempt singing along with the toy on the fridge that plays the ABC song. she would eat popsicles all the live long day if i let her. she loves having paint on her nails and anything else that makes her feel fancy. she dances when there is music and wants to wear her rain boots every day, especially with just a diaper on. she remembers the names of the people she loves and asks for them frequently, not understanding that she cant have them because they live in north carolina, or washington, or germany or spain or rwanda. she is my first and only child, my pal, and my baby.
and today she is two
last night i snuck into her room to get one last glance at her before her birthday. and as i scooped her up in my arms to get one final one-year-old snuggle in, i could not help but notice how heavy she felt and how much older she looked, with her pearl earrings and duke t-shirt. its like i glanced at her, looked away, and when i looked back again, she was different. maybe i feel like she looks older because i am emotional and prone to reading too much in to anything. or maybe she just really is bigger now. and maybe i really really see it. i pressed my cheek right up against hers and just gloried in the magic of a peaceful moment with my rambunctious daughter who has so much joy and life in her. i squeezed her a little tighter than usual, and whispered a song in her ear.
i wrote her so many lullabies in the long nights that came with a brand new baby, and i sang this one to her for the last time as a one year old, even though she was already fast asleep.
little baby soft and sweet
let your mama rock you
little nose and hands and feet
let me hold you now
little baby close your eyes, and drift off to dreaming
little baby soft and sweet
let me hold you now
happy birthday to my sunshine
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