woes of a working mom

so, as you know if you read this blog, i am a working mom.  its like i have two full time jobs, three really.  take care of robert/home/life, take care of eden, and work 5 days a week. (at least its not 8 days a week).

this stinks is not my ideal situation.  if you had asked me a few years ago what it would look like whenever i had a child, i would have told you that i would be staying home with my baby and that there is NO way i would ever resort to...daycare. letting someone else take care of my child while i worked?  heck no.

and yet here we are.  my husband is in school (almost done!  yay hon!) and i teach all day so that we can make things happen...that cost money.

and i find that sometimes i really struggle with this.  YES i struggle because its exhausting to get up every day according to someone else's needs ( i used to sleep in until i needed to get ready and now i wake up when baby human needs me, which is at six).  its exhausting to get her off to daycare (which is wonderful by the way), get to work, work, pump, worry about her, pick her up, get home, try to get her to nap, make dinner/fold laundry/pay bills/plus all the other things that need being done.  FORGET running errands.

yes, i struggle because of all of that

but even more-so i struggle with jealousy.  there are not many working moms at the church i go to and, as a result, there are alot of crafting, home-made making, home schooling, knitting moms.  and when i see you moms and i see all that you are able to do, it makes me plain old-green in the face-grinch who stole chrismtas jealous.

and then there are the comparisons.  i compare myself to you and think 'she had time to make that, why didn't i get my life together enough to make that?' or 'she knows so much about this or that, why don't i have the time to research things like that?'.

and it gets real bad.

real fast.

and i start to think that my value as a wife is wrapped up in how many of those things i can get done in a week.  i start to think that my value as mother is in how many other moms i can impress.  and i get sick with this feeling like i will never be good enough, on top of it enough, crafty enough, creative enough...

and it stinks.

there is not really any resolution to this post except that i know its sinful and foolish and i am asking God to work on my heart.  work it into a heart that gets its sense of worth and value from my creator, not from what i can create or get done with these two hands.


  1. Oh gosh do I feel you. The jealousy, the sadness...I can't even begin to explain the depression I went through when I had to stop breastfeeding a couple months after I went back to work because my body just wouldn't respond to pumping like it did my baby. This topic is something I have been dealing with a lot lately. I am trying to make new friends in a new state and it feels like every mom I meet is at home with their child and the second I say he is in daycare I feel judged, though I also think a lot of this is me placing judgement on myself. Growing up is hard. Playing so many roles is hard. I know at the same time we are so blessed that we have been given the opportunity to play so many roles, meeting the loves of our lives, being blessed with a child and a job that allows us to provide for these people, but geeze is that hard to remember on a daily basis when it feels like you never have the time to be the best at each of these roles individually...

  2. REAL TALK! as you know, i can relate on so many levels. isn't this the most intense training in juggling/balance ever! (well, until kid #2, 3….) You are going to look back on this time and be amazed at how you kept all cylinders going. I know you don't always feel like it, but you really are getting through all this so beautifully and humbly and you always inspire me.. I'm so grateful that we are in this together to encourage one another and share stories of how things can be both so exhausting and wonderful at the same time...


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