eden i love you.
i love you more than i can say in words.
that is impressive, because i am not often rendered unable to verbalize.
but i dont know a single word that can tell you how much i love you.
i know that its more than my heart can stand and that im often afraid that ill literally burst open at the seams because i can't keep all this love for you in me.
when you look at me, and i know you know its me, it gives me so much joy.

i get a little worried when i think about all the things i want for you that i can't ensure for you...
a God-fearing, funny, sweet, hard-working husband who will treasure you.
friends who will encourage you to be more like Christ, not more like them.
education in the important things like theology, character and integrity, as well as in academics.
a desire to know and understand things about the world, not just about your little world.
wisdom and discernment so you will make God - honoring decisions.
a heart that is soft toward God, aware of your sin, and desirous of restoration between you and Him.

the responsibility of helping you, guiding you, toward these things...its paralyzing.
how can i teach you how to love God when i love Him so poorly?
how can i teach you to treasure Him when i treasure Him so little.
how can i teach you to spend time with Him when i so rarely do?
how can i teach you to be patient and kind when you will inevitably see that i am often neither one of those in my relationship with your dad (or with you either sometimes)?
how can i teach you all there is to teach you when i am such a poor student of life, and of God, so often?

my only reassurance in this is that God will teach you despite me.  in spite of me.
my only hope is that God loves you far too much to leave your little heart in my hands.
YES, it is my job to bring you up in the ways of the Lord.
but its Him who mush ultimately mold your heart so that it loves Him.

and so ill pray and pray and pray and pray

and do the best i can


  1. Thanks for putting a daily and hourly sentiment to words. By God's gracious and covenant hand, I really believe our little clay babies are His.


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