39 weeks

im 39 weeks and E is the size of a medium watermelon.  again sorry about the same fruit again but im desperate.

many of you have been asking me how i am doing.  and so i was thinking about how i am doing.

i am due in less than a week and honestly, im a bit emotional.  i really want to meet this little girl and its becoming harder and harder to wait for her.  and, since my midwives will let me go till about 2 week past my due date, i could really have three more weeks of waiting for her.

i know and trust that God's timing is perfect.

i know and trust that he knows the perfect time and way she will arrive.  i know that his plans are higher than mine.

but knowing all of those things does not automatically change how i feel.  and i just feel ready.

my doula, and dear friend, taylor sent me this article and it really touches on many of the things running through my mind right now.  i am in an in between place.  i am not technically a mother yet, but my heart is bursting with the joy of becoming a mother.  its like every day is christmas eve, and then its never christmas.  i have one foot in my old chapters of life and one foot in this incredible new chapter of life and im just trying to make sure that i can balance (which, if you have ever been 9 months pregnant, is not an easy task).

so if you are praying for me, pray that i will trust God's timing because it is perfect. 

and pray that little lady will arrive in time to meet her rwandan family, who will be here next week.