in my head

in my head randomly these days

when i get in the car to drive somewhere, i am always aware that i am taking you with me.  like you are a little sidekick.  i never feel like i am going anywhere alone. i guess i need to get used to taking you everywhere with me anyways.

when you kick me or move or do anything at all, i always feel like you are talking to me.  and even when it hurts, which it is starting to, i love it because its like you are saying "im still in here, im still going strong, and you are gonna love me when i arrive".  

the other day when i was leaving a message for julie on the phone, you kicked two really big kicks, one for each time i said carter, the name of her baby who is scheduled to arrive a few days after you.  do you already know that you will be friends with him?  because you will.

do you know that every time i look into your room, i get this sense of rightness in my heart.  it just feels right that you will be moving in with us.  i look at your crib and imagine you in there.  i imagine sitting in a rocker reading to you.  and while it can feel a little foreign or scary at times, it all just seems so right.  

i am always touching my belly.  i do it without thinking of it.  i always just find my hands resting on the top of my belly.  do you know when i am doing that?  can you sense it?

we are in for a long hot summer baby girl, but i get you at the end of it!  


  1. this is so sweet, it makes me so excited to see you as a mother!!


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