today is etta mae uwera's fourth birthday. etta mae, the one who is least like me and most like her father. the one who caught the nickname 'zen baby' because she was so peaceful and sweet as a baby. truly she is still so peaceful and sweet now. thats not to say she is always at peace with everyone, or even with herself. she has learned how to stand up for herself when eden pushes her too far. she has a voice, and its fierce and full of protest. she might be calm on the surface, but there are some deep waters there, ones i have not even been able to navigate successfully at times.
she used to sign 'thank you' to me when i would change her diapers as a one year old. and that sweetness has only come out more and more over the years. she has a thankfulness and gratefulness in her that cannot be taught, its just a part of who she is. she really does see what people to do for her and she really is so thankful.
she is really silly, moreso in the last six months than ever before. she loves to dance and make her sisters laugh. and speaking of laughs, her belly laugh (which is most often triggered by eden) is easily one of the best sounds in my world. you know as a parent you have moments where you are suddenly aware that you are going to want to remember the sound and feel of a memory for ever? well that is how i feel when she really belly laughs. i want that to ring through my mind long after it has stopped ringing in my ears.
it does make me sad though because the little girl version of her is gone. i saw it today when she was all dressed up for her photos. she just isnt the same. and it kills me even though i am excited to see what she is like as she grows and changes. we all of us know this to be true, the time slips through our fingers, ever faster and ever farther from our grasp. ettas early childhood were some of the sweetest days of my life, she really does have a spirit that just acts as a balm at so many times.
she loves poetry and memorizing it with eden. she loves for me to read to her, especially the vanderbeeker stories these days. she always wants to do her part in the kitchen and considers herself to be most helpful. she loves sleeping in a bunk below eden. she does not like having her hair combed. she loves her pink pajamas from plain jane and wants to wear them every day and night. she wants adventure, but she wants it while still holding my hand. and you know i am going to let that last just as long as she wants it to.
happiest of fourth birthdays mae mae, from the happiest of mamas.
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